God is just so big.
I sometimes get possessive about my job, and sometimes try and take over God's job as well. I worry that youth aren't seeing what God sees. And I fear that after a week of intense sacrificial living, they will go home unchanged.
But I forget that God has been writing on their hearts since way before I was in their life for a couple days. He knows each one of the youth and each one of their stories and has everything planned out to the finest detail. He is a father to the fatherless and reveals his servant heart to the rich. He humbles the proud and builds up the broken. He comforts the lonely and tears social walls down. And He does all that while I am tying my shoes.
Trusting God with myself has never been an issue for me. But I struggle to trust Him with others. I have a hard time putting my friend whose life in shambles in God's hands. I have a hard time trusting Him when my family is struggling. And when the mission statement of my job is to provide an effective urban ministry experience that transforms lives, influences churches and communities, and honors Christ, it can be hard not to take that responsibility onto my shoulders.
So, at the end of a challenging week where I felt totally inefficient, when youth open up and show how God has been changing their lives it blows me away. I see how He has been working behind the scenes. I see how He heals and He transforms and He opens eyes, and I sit back and realize it has nothing to do with me. My God is so big and so good and way better at His job than I am.
So praise God that he is bigger than my insufficiency, and that He does what He promises. He impacts lives more than I ever will and I am glad for that.
-Chadwick, CSM Toronto Summer 2011 City Host