Today I realized I only have one Monday left with a new group. Today felt like the beginning of the end. It feels like this long drawn out goodbye. It's like you know that the one you love is going to leave for awhile and while you try to appreciate and hang on to every moment left part of your heart can't ignore the looming parting of ways.
I think this week is an extra dose of "uneasy feeling in pit of stomach" for me because I'm at an anchor site. I have not had an anchor site all summer but the next two weeks I am at a Boys and Girls club while Julie goes to another site. And to be honest part of me struggled with it today. I loved the kids and they have such a hunger for love and attention. Our groups really are doing a great thing there. It just was not the homeless people that I have gotten to spend time with all summer. It was not the regular schedule. I suddenly become anxious about not having a chance to say goodbye to most of the people I met and for the first time really having an opinion about what was on my schedule.
And then I was reminded that it's not about me, my comfort or how I think I fit into a place. It's not about the people I have met and grown to love. It's not about any of that. It's about God being a Big God and being capable of using me. And it's about His plan not always being our plan. It's about the fruit that follows our obedience. And especially for me, it's about not getting comfortable.
4Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
-Jody Glazner, CSM Nashville Summer 2009 City Host